Perinatal Mood Disorders in Dads and Partners

Exploring how partners can experience mental health challenges after a baby’s arrival.

When we think about postpartum depression or anxiety, we almost always think of moms—and for good reason. 

Mothers go through huge hormonal shifts, physical recovery, sleep deprivation, and nonstop care duties. 

But there’s another part of the picture that often gets overlooked: dads and partners can experience perinatal mood disorders, too.

I see it in my office more often than you might think. 

A new dad walks in months after the baby is born—exhausted, irritable, disconnected, maybe even feeling ashamed that he’s struggling. 

He doesn’t always know what to call it, but he knows he doesn’t feel like himself anymore.

Let’s talk about what perinatal mood disorders look like in dads and partners, why they happen, and how to get support when you need it.

What Are Perinatal Mood Disorders?

Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) include a group of conditions like:

• Postpartum depression

• Anxiety

• Panic disorder

• OCD (obsessive thoughts or compulsions)

• PTSD (often after traumatic birth experiences)

• Postpartum rage

• In rare cases, postpartum psychosis

These are not just “baby blues.” 

They’re deeper, longer-lasting mental health conditions that can affect anyone—including dads and non-birthing partners—anytime during pregnancy and the year following birth.

Yes, Dads and Partners Can Experience Perinatal Mood Disorders

Studies show that up to 1 in 10 new dads experience postpartum depression—and that number jumps to 1 in 4 if their partner is also struggling. 

The rates of anxiety are likely even higher, though less often reported.

And it’s not just biological fathers. 

Adoptive parents, step-parents, and same-sex partners can also struggle with emotional overwhelm and identity shifts after a child enters the home.

I want to be clear about this: just because you didn’t give birth doesn’t mean you’re not affected.

What It Perinatal Mood Disorders looks like in fathers and partners

Perinatal mental health struggles in dads and partners don’t always show up the same way they do in new moms. You might not cry all the time or say you feel “sad.”

Instead, you might notice:

• Irritability or anger - quick temper, snapping at your partner.

• Withdrawal - feeling numb or checked out.

• Workaholism or distraction - throwing yourself into work, hobbies, or screens.

• Increased drinking or substance use.

• Panic attacks or chest tightness.

• Intrusive thoughts about harm coming to the baby.

• Feelings of guilt or shame - I should be happy right now, but I’m not.

• A sense of failure or hopelessness.

• Lack of connection to your partner or child.

These symptoms don’t mean you’re a bad parent or partner. They mean you’re human, and something needs care.

Why Does This Happen?

Becoming a parent is one of the most intense life changes a person can go through.

Even when the baby is healthy and loved, the emotional and physical toll is real.

Common factors that lead to perinatal mental health issues in partners include:

• Sleep deprivation - this alone can cause anxiety and depression.

• Pressure to provide or be the “strong” one.

• Loss of independence or identity.

• Unprocessed trauma from the birth experience.

• Feeling left out or unsure of your role.

• Marital stress or conflict.

• History of mental health issues: anxiety, depression, trauma.

We also don’t talk enough about how isolating new parenthood can be, especially for partners who feel like they’re supposed to “just deal with it.”

What You Can Do

First, know that you’re not alone—and it’s okay to not be okay. 

Taking care of your mental health doesn’t make you weak; it makes you responsible.

Here’s where to start:

1. Talk to someone. That could be your partner, a friend, or a therapist. Don’t suffer in silence.

2. Get screened. Just like moms are screened for postpartum depression, partners should be too. We can help you assess what’s going on.

3. Focus on basic care. Sleep, food, hydration, and movement may sound too simple, but they have a huge effect on mood.

4. Find space for yourself. Even 15 minutes of quiet or time doing something that feels like “you” can help restore a sense of identity.

5. Go to therapy. Counseling isn’t just for crises—it can help you sort through identity shifts, parenting stress, and relationship challenges in a safe, supportive way.

Supporting a Partner Who’s Struggling

If you think your partner might be struggling with their mental health after a baby, try to approach them with empathy, not judgment.

You might say:

“Hey, I’ve noticed you seem really overwhelmed lately. I know this season is a lot. I’m here if you ever want to talk—and I think it’s totally okay to ask for help if you need it.”

You can also offer to help them find a therapist, watch the baby while they rest, or just check in more often.

Final Thoughts

Parenthood is beautiful, but it’s also hard—and that’s true for everyone in the family. 

Dads and partners deserve mental health care, too.

If you’re feeling off, disconnected, or exhausted in ways that don’t go away, it’s not a personal failure. 

It’s a sign that something in you needs care and attention—and therapy can help.

At MCC, we work with clients from all walks of life, including dads and partners who are adjusting to new parenthood. 

You don’t have to keep pushing through on your own. Support is here.

Schedule a free 15-minute consultation if you’d like to talk with one of our therapists. We’ll help you sort through what’s going on and find a path forward—together.