Perinatal Mood Disorders in Dads and Partners

By Heather Steele, LCMHCS — Morrisville Counseling & Consulting, Cary, NC

Exploring how partners can experience mental health challenges after a baby’s arrival

When we think about postpartum depression or anxiety, we almost always think of moms—and for good reason. Mothers go through massive hormonal shifts, physical recovery, sleepless nights, and nonstop care duties.

But there’s another part of the story that often gets overlooked: dads and partners can experience perinatal mood disorders, too.

In my therapy office in Morrisville, NC, I see it more often than people realize. A new dad walks in months after the baby is born—exhausted, irritable, disconnected, and sometimes ashamed that he’s struggling.

He doesn’t always know what to call it, but he knows he doesn’t feel like himself anymore.

Let’s talk about what perinatal mood disorders look like in dads and partners, why they happen, and how to get support when you need it.

What Are Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs)?

Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) include several conditions that can occur during pregnancy and in the first year after birth, such as:

• Postpartum depression

• Anxiety or panic disorder

• OCD (obsessive thoughts or compulsions)

• PTSD (often after a traumatic birth experience)

• Postpartum rage

• In rare cases, postpartum psychosis

These are not just the “baby blues.” They’re deeper, longer-lasting mental health conditions that can affect anyone—including dads and non-birthing partners.

Yes, Dads and Partners Can Experience Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

Research shows that up to 1 in 10 new dads experience postpartum depression—and that number rises to 1 in 4 if their partner is also struggling.

The rates of anxiety are likely even higher, though less often reported.

And it’s not just biological fathers. Adoptive parents, step-parents, and same-sex partners can also experience emotional overwhelm and identity shifts after welcoming a child.

Just because you didn’t give birth doesn’t mean you’re not affected. Parenthood changes everyone.

What Perinatal Mood Disorders Look Like in Fathers and Partners

Perinatal mental health struggles in dads and partners don’t always look like they do in new moms.

You might not cry all the time or describe feeling “sad.”

Instead, you might notice:

• Irritability or anger — snapping at your partner or feeling constantly on edge

• Withdrawal — feeling numb or detached from loved ones

• Overworking or distraction — throwing yourself into work, hobbies, or screens

• Increased drinking or substance use

• Panic attacks or chest tightness

• Intrusive thoughts about harm coming to the baby

• Guilt or shame — “I should be happy right now, but I’m not.”

• A sense of failure or hopelessness

• Lack of connection to your partner or child

These symptoms don’t make you a bad parent or partner.

They mean something inside you needs care and support.

Why This Happens

Becoming a parent is one of the most intense life transitions a person can experience.

Even when the baby is healthy and deeply loved, the emotional and physical toll is real.

Common factors that contribute to perinatal mood issues in partners include:

• Sleep deprivation (a major trigger for anxiety and depression)

• Pressure to “be strong” or the primary provider

• Loss of independence or identity

• Unprocessed trauma from the birth experience

• Feeling left out or unsure of your role

• Relationship tension or conflict

• A personal history of anxiety, depression, or trauma

When stress builds up without rest or support, it can turn into depression or anxiety that affects the whole family.

The good news: these conditions are treatable—and recovery is absolutely possible.

What You Can Do

If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone—and it’s okay to not be okay.

Taking care of your mental health doesn’t make you weak. It makes you responsible and self-aware.

Here are some ways to start:

1. Talk to someone. Whether it’s your partner, a trusted friend, or a therapist, opening up is the first step.

2. Get screened. Just like moms, partners can be screened for postpartum depression and anxiety. At MCC, we can help assess what’s going on.

3. Prioritize basics. Sleep, nutrition, hydration, and movement have a huge impact on mood.

4. Create space for yourself. Even 15 minutes of quiet or time doing something that feels like “you” helps restore balance.

5. Seek therapy. Counseling isn’t just for crises—it can help you process identity shifts, manage stress, and strengthen your relationship in a supportive environment.

At Morrisville Counseling & Consulting, our therapists in Morrisville, NC specialize in helping new parents find stability and connection during this season.

Supporting a Partner Who’s Struggling

If you think your partner might be struggling with their mental health after a baby’s arrival, try to approach the conversation with empathy—not judgment.

You might say:

“Hey, I’ve noticed you seem really overwhelmed lately. I know this season is a lot. I’m here if you ever want to talk—and it’s totally okay to ask for help.”

Offer to help them find a therapist, watch the baby while they rest, or simply check in more often.

Encouraging your partner to reach out to a counselor can make all the difference.

Final Thoughts

Parenthood is beautiful, but it’s also hard—and that’s true for everyone in the family. Dads and partners deserve care, too.

If you’re feeling off, disconnected, or exhausted in ways that don’t go away, it’s not a personal failure—it’s a sign something inside you needs attention.

At Morrisville Counseling & Consulting, we help dads and partners navigate new parenthood with compassion and practical tools for healing.

You don’t have to keep pushing through alone. Support is here.

👉 Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to talk with one of our therapists and find a path forward—together.