What Self-Care Really Means (It’s Not Just Bubble Baths)

"Self-care" has become one of those buzzwords we see everywhere. It's all over social media, written in sparkly fonts above pictures of face masks and glasses of wine.

And don’t get me wrong—there’s nothing wrong with bubble baths, spa days, or getting your nails done. Those can all be great ways to unwind. But real self-care goes deeper than that. 

It’s not about treating yourself once in a while. It’s about consistently meeting your basic physical, emotional, and mental health needs.

As a therapist, I see so many people who are worn down, overwhelmed, and disconnected from themselves—and often, they don’t realize how much they’re neglecting their real needs in the name of "pushing through" or keeping up with everything. 

So let’s talk about what self-care actually looks like when we strip away the buzzwords and get down to what really helps.

Real Self-Care Is About Maintenance, Not Just Indulgence

Think of self-care like taking care of a car. You can’t just wait until it breaks down on the side of the road to give it attention. 

You need regular maintenance—fuel, oil changes, tire checks. The same is true for you. 

Real self-care is about doing the small things, regularly, that keep you going.

Here are a few examples of basic self-care needs that are often overlooked:

• Getting enough sleep

• Eating nourishing food

• Moving your body in a way that feels good

• Drinking enough water

• Creating boundaries around work and rest

• Saying no when you need to

• Checking in with your emotions instead of pushing them down

These aren’t glamorous, and you probably won’t see them in an Instagram post. But they are powerful. 

They send a message to your body and brain that you matter, and your needs are worth paying attention to.

Practical, Everyday Self-Care That Costs Nothing

You don’t need money or a special occasion to take care of yourself. Here are some simple practices that you can start right now:

• Step outside for fresh air and take a few deep breaths

• Write in a journal for five minutes to clear your mind

• Take a break from screens and sit in silence

• Stretch your body or go for a short walk

• Check in with yourself: How am I feeling today? What do I need?

• Say no to something that drains you

• Create a short morning or bedtime ritual that grounds you

These small actions add up. They create rhythms in your life that remind you: I am worthy of care.

Why Expensive or Extravagant Acts Can Be a Distraction

Let me be clear: there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing something nice for yourself. 

You deserve kindness. But when we rely only on those bigger gestures—like vacations, shopping, or beauty treatments—we might be covering up pain instead of caring for it.

Sometimes people use these kinds of activities as a way to avoid dealing with what's really going on inside. 

It feels easier to escape than to sit with hard emotions, loneliness, anxiety, or burnout. But self-care isn’t about escape. It’s about tending to what’s underneath.

The Role of Therapy in Self-Care

If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like you're constantly spinning your wheels, therapy can be one of the most powerful forms of self-care.

Working with a therapist helps you:

• Understand your needs, patterns, and triggers

• Learn healthy coping strategies

• Set boundaries that protect your energy and peace

• Let go of guilt or shame around asking for help

• Reconnect with yourself in a deeper way

Sometimes, the most caring thing you can do for yourself is to finally say, "I can't keep doing this alone."

Redefining Self-Care as an Act of Self-Respect

At its heart, self-care is about respect. It’s about tuning in to your needs, honoring your limits, and giving yourself the same compassion you would offer to someone you love.

It’s not about perfection or performance. It’s not about earning rest or earning kindness.

It’s about understanding that you don’t have to wait until you’re burned out to take care of yourself.

So the next time you hear the term "self-care," I hope you think about more than just candles and bath bombs. 

I hope you think about sleep, nourishment, boundaries, and healing. And if you're ready to dive deeper into what true self-care could look like for you, therapy can help you get there.

You don’t have to wait for a crisis. You don’t need permission. You are worth caring for—right now.

Want to find out if seeing a therapist is a good fit for you? 

Schedule a free 15-minute consultation and we can give you all the information you need.