Coping with PTSD During the Holidays: When Overwhelm and Anxiety Take Hold.

By Heather Steele, MS, CPC, LCAS, LCMHC-QS — Morrisville Counseling & Consulting

Every December, I see a familiar pattern in my therapy office here in Morrisville, and with clients coming from Raleigh, Durham, Cary, and Apex.

As the world fills with lights, music, and celebrations, many people living with PTSD begin to feel an emotional heaviness that they struggle to put into words.

Even people who seem outwardly high-functioning often tell me that December feels disorienting — like the world is speeding up while their nervous system is slowing down in self-protection mode.

The truth is that the holiday season can be deeply triggering for people carrying trauma. 

The expectation to feel cheerful can collide with very real symptoms: flashbacks, dissociation, irritability, grief, or a sudden sense of emotional overwhelm. 

When the world around you feels noisy and glittery, those internal experiences can feel even more isolating.

You’re not alone if the holidays are hard for you. And there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.

Why Do PTSD Symptoms Intensify During the Holiday Season?

Sensory Overload and a Sensitive Nervous System

The holiday season is full of sudden sensory changes.

Stores get louder. Social calendars fill up. Routines change. It’s almost impossible to move through December without encountering new smells, music, lights, and environments.

For someone with PTSD, these shifts can activate an already sensitive nervous system. Many people describe feeling unsettled by things they can’t easily name. Even people without military service suffer from PTSD.

A certain scent in a store might stir up an old memory.A crowded family gathering might push the body toward hypervigilance.

Even positive events can feel overwhelming because the nervous system interprets unpredictability as a lack of safety.

Emotional Expectations and Internal Pressure

On top of sensory overload, the holidays also carry emotional expectations. Culturally, we’re surrounded by messages about joy, gratitude, and family closeness.

But when your inner experience doesn’t match those expectations, it can make you feel defective or out of sync.

This disconnect often intensifies shame — especially for trauma survivors who already struggle with self-blame.

Grief That Resurfaces During the Holidays

Then there’s grief.

December tends to bring up memories of people we’ve lost, relationships that have changed, or past holidays that were painful.

Clients often tell me they feel blindsided by unexpected waves of sadness — even if they thought they were “doing fine” earlier in the year.

PTSD and grief often stir each other up, making emotions feel heavier and harder to manage.

Family Dynamics and Old Wounds

Family dynamics are another major piece.

Going home — or even preparing to go home — can activate old wounds or remind you of environments tied to the trauma.

Even clients who have supportive families sometimes feel anxious because of the pressure to “perform” wellness or appear okay.

A Perfect Storm — And Not a Personal Failure

All of these factors can create a perfect storm where PTSD symptoms intensify. And none of it is your fault.

Your nervous system is responding to a season filled with unpredictability, memory, pressure, and emotion — not a lack of strength or effort on your part.

A Story That May Feel Familiar

To help normalize this experience, I often share fictionalized examples based on patterns I see in therapy.

One of those stories is about “Alyssa,” a 33-year-old woman who loves her family but dreads December every year. 

She tells me that the season brings an emotional fog she can’t shake.

The smell of pine in a store or the soft jingle of a holiday song can trigger anxiety that seems to come out of nowhere.

She feels exhausted before events even begin and often finds herself withdrawing from gatherings she used to enjoy.

What’s even harder for her is the guilt. Everyone else seems cheerful.

Social media is full of families in matching pajamas, sparkling holiday lights, and perfectly decorated homes.

She knows these images are curated, but seeing them when she’s struggling makes her feel alone — like she’s the only one who can’t access the joy everyone talks about.

Clients like Alyssa remind me how important it is to name these experiences out loud.

Trauma symptoms during the holidays are common, valid, and understandable. 

And with support, they can become more manageable.

The Hidden Holiday Stressor: Social Media Pressure

One of the most underrated holiday triggers is the pressure created by social media.

Almost overnight, feeds transform into a highlight reel of picture-perfect trees, smiling families, and “cozy holiday magic.” 

For someone living with PTSD, these images can create a painful sense of comparison.

Even when people know intellectually that social media is curated, emotionally it can hit differently.

You may start to believe that you’re missing out on something essential or that you’re somehow failing at the holiday season.

Trauma can make these comparisons louder, feeding narratives like:

“Everyone else has it together.” 

“I’m the only one who feels this way.” 

“I should be stronger.”

This emotional spiral is incredibly common, and it doesn’t mean you’re weak.

It means your nervous system is trying to interpret overwhelming information with the tools it has — tools that may have been shaped by trauma.

Sometimes the most protective thing you can do in December is take a temporary break from social media or gently unfollow accounts that intensify shame or comparison. 

Giving yourself distance from those curated images can help your body recalibrate.

How to Support Your Nervous System During December

Managing PTSD during the holidays isn’t about forcing yourself to “be festive.”

It’s about noticing what your body needs and responding with care, not criticism.

Here are some trauma-informed approaches that can help you feel more grounded and in control.

Create a Simple Trigger Awareness Plan

You don’t need an elaborate system. Even taking a few minutes to write down the sounds, smells, places, and situations that tend to overwhelm you can make a big difference. 

When you know what affects you, you can anticipate moments that may require more grounding or support.

Give Yourself Permission to Set Boundaries

One of the most compassionate steps you can take is allowing yourself to say no.

You’re allowed to decline certain events, leave early, or take breaks during gatherings.

Boundaries don’t make you difficult — they make you healthy.

The people who truly care about you want you regulated more than they want you performing holiday cheer.

Use a Grounding Toolkit (Printable Style Below)

Grounding skills are especially important in December because they help regulate the nervous system quickly and quietly.

Here’s a toolkit you can save, screenshot, or turn into a printable later:

Quick December Grounding Tools:

• 5 senses reset: 

  • Name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.

• Cold temperature reset: Hold something cold like a fridge can or an ice cube.

• Box breathing: Inhale 4 seconds → hold 4 → exhale 4 → hold 4.

• Body pressure grounding: Press your feet into the floor; feel the chair support your back.

• Anchoring object: Keep a grounding stone, soft fabric, or scented lotion nearby.

• Step outside for 30 seconds: Let the crisp December air reset your senses.

• Hand-over-heart breathing: Use gentle pressure and slow breaths.

• Progressive release: Tense and relax your jaw, shoulders, fists, and feet.

These tools work best when practiced every day — not just in moments of panic — because repetition strengthens your regulation pathways. Learn more about grounding techniques here.

Create a “Holiday Safety Plan”

This isn’t about danger; it’s about creating emotional predictability.

Your plan can be short and simple: a list of grounding tools, a couple of supportive contacts, and a few phrases you can use if you need space during a gathering.

Even knowing you have a plan can reduce anxiety.

Limit Social Media Exposure

Weariness, comparison, and shame often get louder the more we scroll. 

Reducing screen time during December can help your nervous system settle and reconnect you to what actually matters: your healing, your rest, and your safety.

Listening to What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You

Trauma lives in the body, and December often makes those sensations louder. 

You might notice tension in your chest, headaches, irritability, stomach discomfort, waves of sadness, or trouble sleeping. 

These symptoms aren’t signs of failure. 

They’re signals from a nervous system that’s trying to protect you from overload. 

The more you respond to these signals with kindness instead of self-judgment, the more room your body has to heal.

Reaching Out for Support

One of the most powerful things you can do during the holiday season is connect with a therapist who understands trauma. 

At MCC, I support clients from across the Triangle who are navigating PTSD, and I’ve seen how life-changing it can be when someone finally feels safe enough to process their story.

A December start to therapy often leads to meaningful progress throughout the year. Trauma work doesn’t have to feel overwhelming — it can feel steady, structured, and empowering.

Conclusion — You’re Not Failing the Holidays

If the holidays feel heavy, it’s not because you’re broken. 

It’s because your body remembers things that your mind may try to push aside during the busiest, brightest season of the year. 

You deserve care, gentleness, and support — not pressure to appear joyful.

If you’re in Morrisville, Raleigh, Durham, Cary, Apex, or anywhere in the Triangle, and this season feels overwhelming, I’d be honored to support you. You don’t have to carry this alone.

Reach out for a free 15-minute consultation. There is a way through this, and you deserve to feel supported every step of the way.