How to Talk to Your Loved Ones About Starting Therapy

Encouraging Family Members to Seek Mental Health Support

One of the most common questions I hear in my office isn’t just “Should I go to therapy?”—it’s also “How do I get my spouse/child/parent/friend to consider therapy when I see them struggling?”

Talking to a loved one about starting therapy is a delicate, deeply personal conversation.

Many people hesitate because they don’t want to come across as judgmental, pushy, or critical.

Yet watching someone you love wrestle with anxiety, depression, trauma, or other struggles can feel unbearable.

In this article, I’ll share why it can be so difficult for people to accept therapy, what’s happening beneath the surface, and practical steps for opening a compassionate, respectful conversation.

Why It’s Hard to Suggest Therapy

Before approaching a loved one, it helps to understand why resistance to therapy is so common.

1. Stigma & Misunderstanding

Even in 2025, stigma about therapy persists. People often fear that seeking counseling means they’re “weak,” “broken,” or “crazy.” In the South, where independence and resilience are highly valued, the idea of asking for help can feel especially vulnerable.

➡️ Research: According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), only about 50.6% of U.S. adults with a mental illness received treatment in 2022 — meaning nearly half went without care. Stigma, cost, and limited access remain some of the biggest barriers preventing people from getting the support they need.

2. Fear of Judgment or Exposure

Therapy means talking about personal struggles. For many, that feels like risking shame, rejection, or exposure of family dynamics they’d prefer to keep private. This is particularly true in smaller communities like those around the Triangle, where “everybody knows everybody.”

3. Lack of Knowledge

Some people simply don’t know what therapy is like. They imagine lying on a couch while a stranger asks about their childhood, or they assume it’s only for “serious” problems.

➡️ Research: Research has found that improved knowledge of mental illness and available treatments is linked to greater willingness to seek care. (Rüsch et al., 2011; Corrigan et al., 2014).”.

4. Control & Autonomy

Suggesting therapy can feel threatening because it highlights that a person doesn’t have full control of their life. Humans are wired to protect autonomy—so even gentle nudges can be met with defensiveness.

Common Relationship Dynamics That Get in the Way

• Parents & Adult Children: Parents may dismiss therapy as unnecessary, especially if they grew up in a generation that didn’t value mental health support. Adult children often fear “lecturing” their parents.

• Spouses/Partners: A partner might interpret the suggestion of therapy as blame—“You think I’m the problem.”

• Friends: Friends may minimize their struggles or joke them away, leaving you unsure whether to push further.

Recognizing these dynamics helps you approach the conversation with empathy instead of frustration.

(Also, learn more about setting boundaries with family around the holidays.)

How to Talk About Therapy With Care

Here’s a roadmap you can use when starting the conversation:

1. Start From Love, Not Judgment

Lead with concern and care. Instead of saying:

• “You really need therapy.” Try:

• “I care about you, and I’ve noticed how stressed you’ve been. I wonder if talking with someone might help lighten that load.”

2. Normalize Therapy

Help them see therapy as a healthy, normal step.

• Compare it to seeing a doctor for physical health.

• Share that therapy is common in the Triangle area—our local community has many people who work with therapists to thrive, not just survive.

➡️ Stat: The national National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience some form of mental illness in any given year.

3. Focus on Specific Benefits

Talk about what therapy could do, not just what’s “wrong.”

• “It might give you tools to manage stress.”

• “It could help improve sleep or lower your anxiety at work.”

• “It might give us a better way to communicate.”

4. Share Your Own Experience (If You Have One)

If you’ve been in therapy, be open about what helped you. This reduces stigma and makes therapy relatable.

5. Offer Practical Help

Sometimes resistance isn’t emotional—it’s logistical. Offer to:

• Look up local therapists (like MCC in Morrisville, serving Raleigh, Cary, and Durham).

• Drive them to their first appointment.

• Sit with them during a consultation call.

6. Respect Their Autonomy

You can’t force someone into therapy, and pushing too hard can backfire. Instead, express your support and leave the door open:

• “If you ever want to try therapy, I’ll help however I can.”

What If They Refuse?

This is one of the hardest outcomes. If your loved one says no:

• Don’t take it personally. Resistance usually reflects fear or stigma, not rejection of you.

• Set boundaries. Supporting someone doesn’t mean sacrificing your own well-being. Consider your own therapy to cope with the stress of caring for someone reluctant to seek help.

• Stay consistent. Gently remind them over time that therapy is an option. Sometimes people need multiple invitations before they’re ready.

➡️ Research: Research indicates that enhanced mental -health literacy and supportive encouragement from informal networks—such as family members—are linked to increased help-seeking behavior for mental health concerns (Rickwood & Thomas, 2012).

A Fictional Client Story

“Melissa,” a 38-year-old from Cary, worried about her husband, who had grown withdrawn after losing his job.

When she suggested therapy directly, he snapped, ‘I’m not crazy.’

We reframed her approach: instead of making therapy about what was “wrong,” she talked about her own stress and how counseling had helped her.

She said, ‘I’d love for us both to have more support. Maybe it could help us communicate better, too.’

Over time, her husband agreed to try a consultation. It wasn’t instant—but with patience and compassion, the door opened.

When Professional Guidance Helps the Whole Family

At MCC, we see how family systems are impacted when one person struggles.

Sometimes, the best step is for the supportive partner, child, or friend to seek therapy themselves.

By modeling openness to therapy, you not only protect your own mental health—you also demonstrate to your loved one that therapy is safe and valuable.

Moving Forward

Encouraging a loved one to start therapy isn’t easy.

But by approaching the conversation with empathy, normalizing mental health support, offering practical help, and respecting autonomy, you can plant seeds that may grow over time.

Here in Morrisville, Cary, Raleigh, and Durham, we’ve helped countless individuals and families take that first step into therapy.

If you’d like guidance on how to approach this conversation—or if you want to explore therapy for yourself—I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me or one of our therapists at Morrisville Counseling & Consulting.

Together, we can help make therapy feel approachable and safe for your loved ones.

*Citations: Rüsch, N., Evans-Lacko, S., Henderson, C., et al. (2011). Knowledge and attitudes as predictors of intentions to seek help for and disclose a mental illness. Psychiatric Services, 62(6), 675‒678.

Corrigan, P.W., Druss, B.G., & Perlick, D.A. (2014). The impact of mental illness stigma on seeking and participating in mental health care. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 15(2), 37-70. Rickwood, D., & Thomas, K. (2012). Conceptual measurement framework for help-seeking for mental health problems. Psychology Research and Behavior Management, 5, 173–183.