“My Child Says They’re Fine—But I’m Still Worried”: Signs Kids May Need Therapy

If you’ve ever asked your child how they’re doing and heard “I’m fine”—but your gut still says something’s off—you’re not overreacting. You’re tuning in.

Kids don’t always have the words to explain what’s going on inside.

Sometimes they won’t talk because they don’t want to worry you. Other times, they truly don’t know how to make sense of their emotions.

Just because they say they’re fine doesn’t mean they are.

As parents, it’s important to learn the quieter ways our children might be asking for help.

Why Kids Don’t Always Speak Up

Children, especially tweens and teens, may struggle to open up about their feelings for a few reasons:

• They don’t want to disappoint or upset you

• They’re afraid they’ll get in trouble

• They don’t fully understand what they’re feeling

• They’ve been taught (directly or indirectly) to “just deal with it”

Even kids who are emotionally intelligent and well-supported can go silent when something’s wrong.

That’s why it’s helpful to know the subtle signs that something might be going on beneath the surface.

Quiet Red Flags: What to Watch For

Here are some common (but often overlooked) signs that a child or teen may be struggling internally:

1. Changes in Sleep or Eating Habits

• Sleeping more or less than usual

• Nightmares, trouble falling asleep, or frequent waking

• Sudden loss of appetite or overeating

These shifts often reflect anxiety, depression, or emotional overwhelm.

2. Withdrawing From Friends or Activities

A child who suddenly loses interest in things they used to enjoy—or who pulls away from peers—might be dealing with sadness, loneliness, or fear.

3. Increased Irritability or Mood Swings

Not all distress looks like sadness. Sometimes, it comes out as anger, frustration, or constant arguing. Emotional overload can make kids more reactive.

4. Physical Complaints With No Clear Cause

Frequent stomachaches, headaches, or vague “not feeling good” complaints can be a child’s way of expressing emotional discomfort when they don’t have the language for it.

5. Perfectionism or Overachieving

If your child suddenly becomes obsessed with getting everything “just right” or becomes anxious over small mistakes, they may be trying to control their environment to manage inner anxiety.

6. Being “Too Good”

Some kids hide their distress by becoming overly compliant, helpful, or cheerful. If your child never asks for help, never complains, and seems almost too self-sufficient, it may be worth gently checking in.

Real-Life Example: Sarah’s Son

Sarah (whose name has been changed for privacy) brought her 12-year-old son to therapy even though he insisted he was fine.

He was getting straight A’s and never caused problems—but she noticed he had stopped inviting friends over and had frequent stomachaches before school.

Over time in therapy, he revealed he had been feeling overwhelmed and isolated. He didn’t want to stress out his parents, so he kept it to himself.

Therapy gave him a space to name his feelings—and helped Sarah feel more connected to what he needed.

What Parents Can Do

If your child says they’re fine, but your instincts tell you otherwise, here are a few things you can try:

1. Create Openings, Not Interrogations

Instead of, “What’s wrong?” try:

• “You’ve seemed a little off lately—want to talk about it?”

• “How’s your heart doing today?”

• “If something was bothering you, what would help you feel safe telling me?”

Sometimes a simple walk, drive, or shared activity makes space for more honest conversations.

2. Model Emotional Language

Kids learn how to talk about feelings by watching us. Let them hear you name your own emotions in age-appropriate ways:

• “I felt really overwhelmed today, so I took a few deep breaths.”

• “I’m a little anxious about that meeting—I think it’s because I want it to go well.”

This teaches them that emotions are normal, manageable, and safe to talk about.

3. Trust Your Intuition

You know your child. If something feels different or off, don’t ignore it. Even if they can’t put it into words yet, your concern is valid.

4. Consider Professional Support

Therapy offers kids a neutral, supportive space to explore their inner world—especially when they don’t feel ready to open up at home.

Child and adolescent therapists are trained to notice the signs that kids might not show on the surface. Therapy can help your child:

• Build emotional awareness

• Learn tools to manage stress, anxiety, or sadness

• Feel more understood and less alone

Let’s Get to the Heart of It

At MCC, we help parents and children navigate those “I’m fine” moments with curiosity and care.

If you’ve been sensing that something’s off—even if your child won’t say it out loud—we’re here to help you explore what’s really going on underneath.

Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to learn more about child therapy, parenting support, and how we can walk with your family through the hard stuff.

Your intuition matters. Trust it.